And they told half of the students that they were going to give a practice sermon on the parable of the Good Samaritan, which is a story of stopping to help strangers in need. The kingdom searched day and night, but no one was able to find … Incompetence meaning what are the things-. Have Courage and Be Kind. The things they said yes to, were actually really rich and important and meaningful. And I really appreciate your sharing some of your strategies that get focused, and it doesn't almost matter specifically what it is, as long as you're willing to commit and be consistent. But even mean-welling things can do unconscious damage, and the unconscious damage I think we've done is… in the book, I say, “fluffified” kindness. That's wonderful. So people like devoting their life to God, aka Jesus, who taught to be kind and loving to people who needed help, particularly. instead of asking, “How can I help?” provide them with even a very short menu — the shorter the better — menu of options. . And I also want to thank you for sharing that story, and I have not had exactly that experience. And we need tools around empathy, building compassion. When you talk about being kind, what are you talking about? High quality Have Courage And Be Kind gifts and merchandise. Literally people from all over the world. Authentic, deep kindness is hard to practice. And so to say that kindness is free, we are implying that we're all capable of doing it all the time. It's like, if we believe this thing's important, how do we go out and do it well? Decreasing Anxiety and Increasing Empathy. You're right. And so, you mentioned a few times in our conversation that you spend time with schools and developing curriculum. And there's a, “How can I help?” which puts it entirely in the corner of the other person. But I feel super fortunate that I got introduced to this pretty dramatic, different definition of what leadership can be in our culture, and it changed the trajectory of my life. And today, we're talking with an expert on the subject about how we can all intentionally cultivate real, meaningful kindness in our communities, and in our relationships, and within ourselves. Priests? So I think, part one in some ways, it's just having the language and the recognition that we're not asking these questions as a culture. But every lesson, the first third of the lesson, is dedicated to community building because social connectedness is the most important ingredient to mental wellness, and preventing teenage suicide, which we know is increasing in numbers. And afterwards, the parent cleans up, and does the dishes, and put stuff away which is giving the student time to get to their other tasks, their homework, their work.” She goes, “And for some students, kindness, and it's still kindness to them, is the fact that their grandmother left some leftovers in the fridge when they get home from their second job.” Like, those are both actions of kindness. A lot of schools say “We want more empathetic kids,” but the reality is this: you can create more empathy without having any actions come from it. Because when I'm drowning, I don't want someone be like, “Hey, what do you think you need?”. Yes, yes, it's a children's book. Tell the story, though. Houston: I don't know if I would have found you all! I thought it was a perfect introduction for our topic today. I love this simple paradigm shift. And then he would come to me and we would sit down, debrief those meetings, so I could take them back to what we were trying to incorporate into our school. This super gorgeous song we're listening together right now is called Angola Moon. Based on the screenplay by Chris Weitz, this chapter book is perfect for fans of the movie, Cinderella, which was released in 2015. And then we went to work every week, we've just tried to bring more kindness to life at our school. He never missed a day. Which one would best meet your needs this week?” So now you give them two choices, they have a sense of ownership in that process. And there's only two rules, only two rules to the club. I've spent my life, past decade, speaking in schools about kindness. And we met every week, and we talked about kindness, and why it was important, and why the world needed more of it. Or do you have another? Like what does it effectively mean to leave people better than we found them? And very lastly, and kind of relatedly, and I know that this is a very big question, and so please don't feel like you need to give the alpha and omega of the final answer because big stuff here. if you are interested in learning more about Houston's work in providing character education and social–emotional learning curriculums for schools. Sometimes the power of a simple invitation to join student leadership, which I previously had no interest in, and as a result of joining, I went to the summer camp. A lot. It's how we allocate our most precious resource of attention. A topic, I think more important than ever, in our crazy world. In between building A where they were supposed to deliver, or they were preparing for the sermon or the speech and building B, where they were going to deliver the sermon or speech, the researchers intentionally planted someone in the middle. And the definition that still stands out to me to this day is I'm creating opportunities for others to be involved. That is the reactionary nature, I think that part of the book tries to fight back against but nonetheless, here's this tragedy. What if I had to say, this is not my priority.” Because time is just simply a matter of how we prioritize. That's amazing. How did you arrive into a state of being when you were a little 16 year old? Dr. Lisa: Wow. When you talk about being kind, what are you talking about? And so we talked a lot about that, right? Sometimes the power of a simple invitation to join student leadership, which I previously had no interest in, and as a result of joining, I went to the summer camp. So our content, especially coming into this new school year, we've totally rewritten everything to adapt to the current reality, which is that students first and foremost need tools for stress, and coping, and resilience, right? We need to talk about kindness in a way that honors how hard it is, if we're going to actually practice it in a way that makes a meaningful difference in our world. Whatever one feels most purposeful for you to dig into most consistently. But when we … I heard him speak on stage, about a paradigm shift at the time for me going into my senior year of high school. And it's one of those tough ones because I think we collectively agree, kindness is important. Dr. Lisa: Actually, I have two more questions for you. Houston: Exactly. The illustrations are phenomenal and I just love that this is the book of the recent live-action film, as that is my favourite film ever now. First, it was a gorgeous hardcover with illustrations throughout! Yeah, I like to attach some adjectives to the word as opposed to trying to define it out, because the book really spends, the whole book’s trying to define it. I'm getting things done and so I am good. If I'm productive, I am worthy, I'm worthwhile. We all need that, for mental wellness. And I feel like moments like that put a sort of a bizarre pressure on saying, like having this like, quote-unquote, perfect experience with this person you love. But you know, as we're talking, there are a lot of really difficult things happening in the world around us that can feel very overwhelming. And afterwards, the parent cleans up, and does the dishes, and put stuff away which is giving the student time to get to their other tasks, their homework, their work.” She goes, “And for some students, kindness, and it's still kindness to them, is the fact that their grandmother left some leftovers in the fridge when they get home from their second job.” Like, those are both actions of kindness. And so, people in response to tragedy want to be of service. That's wonderful. Now if people wanted to learn more about you, and your organization, and your book, and all the stuff you're doing, tell us more about how they might learn more about you, and how they could get involved. So the thing that I am giving to you, whether it is my attention, whether it is something monetary, or whether it is words that you need in the moment. Just beautiful. She is a complete doormat and takes EXTREME cruelty from her stepmother and stepsisters all in the name of "being kind". I think you describe it as this deep kindness. Listen to find out! Even so, it was a milestone for the three of us, and the movie holds a special place in my heart. Like what are you telling yourself in the moment, when you're choosing to not be as kind as you could be? I know that it's on the hearts and minds of many. And thank you, because there are probably kids that you went to school with who are healthy and well at this stage of their lives because of the work you did at that point. Crickets, crickets. for all the practical insights she gives into empathy and compassion. For us, organizationally, the conversations around racial justice, and equity, and education, specifically equity through the lens of social and emotional learning has been the most important thing for us organizationally, especially during this time to think about. We need tools to talk about social and racial justice. There's so much research that I love, some of which comes from Dr. Michele Borba, who she says, as anxiety goes up, empathy goes down. And they told half of the students that they were going to give a practice sermon on the parable of the Good Samaritan, which is a story of stopping to help strangers in need. Whatever one feels most purposeful for you to dig into most consistently. Houston is the co-founder and CEO of Character Strong, and also the author of the book, Deep Kindness, a revolutionary guide for the way we think, talk, and act in kindness. You have more kindness in your little finger than most people possess in their whole body. Cultivating kindness can allow you to build healthy friendships that buffer you against all the storms and stress that the world throws at you. A pretty profound paradigm shift around what leadership meant. But you know, as we're talking, there are a lot of really difficult things happening in the world around us that can feel very overwhelming. Now if people wanted to learn more about you, and your organization, and your book, and all the stuff you're doing, tell us more about how they might learn more about you, and how they could get involved. But even mean-welling things can do unconscious damage, and the unconscious damage I think we've done is… in the book, I say, “fluffified” kindness. Do you have any insights, or thoughts even about how one can cultivate the ability for empathy inside of themselves? My guest today on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast is here to teach you how: Houston Kraft is an expert on the power of kindness. Empathy and deep kindness also get easier the more we practice. What an incredibly difficult proverb to live by. So, the book spends a lot of time trying to unpack kindness as a concept, because I think our culture has unintentionally devalued the word by over emphasizing its importance without actually delivering the resources beneath it to make it real. What would you do? It's called. And also I mean, the level of racial, not even intolerance, but overt hostility and aggression that we see being kind of directed at certain racial groups in our country right now. So, having those tools in my toolbox in high school,that's part of the passion I have for education today. This books gives us a deeper peek into Cinderella's childhood. You're like, “I'm gonna be a force of good in the world.” Your parents are like missionaries? So think about how many hours you'll spend today in your inbox, versus reaching out to a family member or a friend, a check-in, a moment of gratitude. So fast forward, whatever it is… 16, 17 years later, I get to work alongside the guy that inspired sort of the trajectory of my life. And then giving them accountability to say, “Hey, you said you wanted to be this thing. I hated ever putting it down. What does it mean to you? And while we are kind of talking about that, “Who do you want to be? And that the greatest leaders sacrifice and are willing to serve people despite how comfortable or convenient it is. Kindness is the transformational path forward. say “yes” to what's most important. When we have opportunities to practice, are we actually showing up to do it? So if I were to offer a really practical exercise, after all of that context, it's to not ask how I can help and to not just give help randomly, but to provide a small menu that gives them a choice, autonomy, and honors listening, in order to most effectively meet needs. It says, “We need to be reminded more than we need to be instructed.” It's some of these things around being kind, or good, or generous to each other. It has power. It really sort of shaped their identity, and the way that they feel about themselves well into adulthood, and we have to do oftentimes a lot of work in therapy of unwinding some of that in order for them to feel okay about themselves, or even not afraid of people. Kindness and empathy help heal the trauma of racism, and help build antiracist identities. Like, you know, we were just chatting when we first started talking to each other. Every week, we had to meet someone new. One of my studies that frustrates me the most because it is so indicative of this gap comes from Harvard's, project. Well, I'll be sure to keep in touch with you, and see what kinds of interesting things you guys all do going forward. I kind of love it. A topic, I think more important than ever, in our crazy world. Exactly. Not only do we talk about where we're going next in the business and things like that, but every person in the organization sets a character goal. Dr. Lisa: Well, thank you for being here with me. I definitely recommend this book to any fans of Cinderella. This is what happens when you wear red lipstick with an almost one year old around. And I remember being at a training one time. Houston: And I think it's important that I don't want to holistically disqualify confetti kindness as a, quote-unquote, bad thing. Just so we have something to kind of differentiate the two different kinds. Like that's a good piece of the puzzle, and I feel very fortunate that is a piece of my puzzle. Now where can I find my own Kit? And there is this kid at my school who he approached me saying, “Hey.” I was student body president, and he's like, “You're in charge of this stuff. Obviously in need, doubled over in pain, because they wanted to know what the people who are actively thinking about compassion, in fact, about to go tell a story, a parable of talking about kindness. So those are some of the things that our content’s trying to help support schools with. And we put a huge focus on the sort of the practical side of it. And they get to choose into the thing that allows them to most meet whatever needs they have in the moment. You see, like “Just be kind.” You say, this kindness… sprinkle that stuff everywhere, or the one I see most often in schools is “Throw kindness around like confetti.”. And I think that's what one of the rubs for people is, all these things mean well. And thank you again for today. So it didn't matter if I felt safe, and excited, and spirited around my school. We can improve our emotional awareness of others by more accurately tapping into how we're feeling on any given day. But perhaps even on a more practical level, why I started the club itself was because of my experience with like student leadership. And the cover and artwork were absolutely beautiful. Download Have Courage and Be Kind - SVG (831456) today! When you intentionally decide to be a force of good in the world, and to have courage and be kind it lifts everyone up, including you. And maybe we could begin just by talking if it's okay, a little bit about your journey into being an expert on the subject of kindness. Not ‘What did you learn today?’ But the question, ‘What did you do for others today?’” And literally a room of 4000 student leaders, high achieving kids… zero hands go up. Well, sometimes it requires us to be courageous in the face of the things that we're fearful of. It's a great story. Dr. Lisa: Wow. have courage and be kind 12506 GIFs. So I think, a practical strategy there, if you know someone who's going through something of any kind, emotionally, physically. And are you using your influence to move people towards something healthy and positive supporting, loving, or the opposite? He never missed a day. You know, this one? Compassion in Latin means to suffer with. If I have too much to do, I'm so busy so that when I'm quote-unquote, listening, I'm not actually listening, I'm worried about the next thing that I'm supposed to be doing. And it's one of the things we have to work with specifically schools on, but in the context of our conversation. It is a matter of attention allocation. So, far definition of leadership is this version over here, we perhaps are only going to live with that version, or act based on that version. And it took me three weeks until finally I felt like the circumstances were just right. She meant, they said no to a lot of things. This is a book w. A fantastic chapter book for middle grade readers! Don't forget to subscribe to the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast while you're there so you get all the latest episodes in your feed! Strained relationships, more anxiety and depression, feeling disconnected from true meaning and purpose, and feeling hopeless are a hard way to live. So it doesn't feel weird to me at all. And also have accountability and structures in place. Kindness can repair self esteem, and is protective against anxiety and depression. obviously, i love cinderella. Part two is empowering people, in the situation, we're talking about educators to effectively create space for those more authentic relationships. Sort: Relevant Newest # courage # courage # courage # courage # fox # flirting # new girl # ali # nasim pedrad # pop # schitts creek # poptv # pop tv # moira # kindness # be kind to yourself # happy new year 2021 # debbie ridpath ohi # debbie ohi # debbieohi # inkygirl And then there's the opportunity to curate that to say, “Hey, you know what I could do, I could run and drop these things off to the post office for you, or I could make a lasagna. And so the book challenges this narrative, that our culture has given us a confetti kindness, and says, “No, we need to reinvent this.” Right?

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